Another blast from the past

Yet another clip from the archives.

A blast from the past

I have been a bit lazy in updating this blog, so I thought I would placate you all (all 3 of you) by posting this blast from the last decade, when I was but a slip of a lad ...

Sacre bleu!

Trying to describe the sense of injustice that has enveloped a very cold, wet and miserable Ireland, a day after the so called 'Hand of Gaul' cheated the nation's soccer team from gracing South Africa 2010 is beyond my clean language. Only four letter expletives seem to suffice on this occasion! Thierry Henry's delinquent sleight of hand may have tarnished his up to now, impeccable reputation not just with Irish fans, but also all those who see fair play as sacrosanct to the beautiful game. M. Henry (affectionately known by those close to him as Titi) has overnight turned into public enemy number one in Ireland with the Irish cyberspace and airwaves filled with angry denunciations peppered with 'Hand of Frog', 'Hand of Dog' and a new meaning to the abbreviation F.I.F.A... well basically these are the only ones that I can repeat on this family channel! And of course being black, some of the abuse aimed at Titi and indeed the French team quickly turned racist, which is totally uncalled for and moronic to say the least.

As with any perceived injustice, conspiracy theories are now a dime-a-dozen, although some have do a little bit credence, particularly one which accuses FIFA of manipulating the playoff draws so that the big teams qualified for their showpiece event. Anyway, as I write, even the Irish Minister for Justice has demanded justice from Fifa - basically that the match should be replayed. There's a fat chance of that happening although the soccer world governing body did set the precedence when a 2006 World Cup playoff match between Uzbekistan and Bahrain was replayed after a technical mistake by the referee. Apparently, last night's calamity (in Irish eyes) was not deemed a technical mistake by the referee.

Which is a great pity as I know having lived here for some time now, that Irish fans would have greatly added to the occasion through their good natured and very passionate support for the Boys In Green!

Fair Play? What fair play?

The one with external plumbing!

And so it was revealed that the forthcoming addition to the Viriri family would have - as a dear family friend and would-be 'other mother' superbly put it - external plumbing. Now truth be told, both of us had, for some unfathomable reason, anticipated having a girl, perhaps in my case more of a feeble and perhaps inconsequential rebellion against society's perceived bias towards boys. As to prove this, most kind folks who have congratulated us seem to be doing so not merely because we’re expecting a baby, but rather that it is a BOY! Oh boy, oh boy!!!

Anyway, when we found out it was a boy we were delighted and emerged from the room semi-trance-like, looking as if we had been informed that were going to have quintuplets or . I think for us, being told the sex of the baby swiftly moved us on from wondering about some physical and miraculous manifestation setting up shop within HGS into a human being that we could now start giving names, nicknames and drawing up his CV. Up until then, the notion of a baby would have been merely an abstract one for me, albeit still very exciting and much anticipated, of course.

As we were heading home, an hour or so later, flights of fancy began taking hold, and there I was already charting his career path (as his future manager and agent, of course) either plays rugby for Ireland or captaining Liverpool, of course. Or as the whiz kid who invents the next Google, ipod or the rocket to Venus. Or when he should start dating, when I will have the birds and bees talk with him (Good grief, parental euphemisms already?). As you do!

And so our new journey continues...

Daddy-O!

The amazing and remarkable person that she is, Her Gorgeous Self (HGS) aka my darling wife, gave me by far the best ever birthday present. With her usual inimitable grace, perfect timing and style she ‘informed’ me that we were in a family way (have always wanted to use that euphemism). Now, as you can no doubt agree, it is not mere hyperbole on my part in stating that I was mightily chuffed – it was as if Liverpool had won the Premiership and Champions League a dozen times over. It is remarkable, that even though (without going into too much detail) this would be the most deliberately planned for baby, the surprise factor was still there and I felt more elated than I have been about anything.

Fast forward three months to yesterday and here we were in one of the country's big maternity hospitals waiting for the first scan and to cut a long story short and thus spare you a long whinge about 'third world health' service in an allegedly 'first world' country, I will go straight to the good news that our little bundle of joy (gender still unconfirmed) was as healthy as any 16 weeks-from-conception being can be. The good doctor informed us more than once, for good measure, that he could detect a robust heartbeat! Being new to this, I was not sure what clever questions to ask the good doctor, whether it was appropriate for me to ask if that little macadamia nut shaped being was really going to turn into a little human being. However, seeing the little flutters on the monitor was quite awesome. So I'm happy to say, all's well with mother and child and long may that be.

Lastly and certainly deservedly least, I should mention this jackass who did not give up a seat to my PREGNANT wife in a maternity hospital of all places. When we got to the narrow corridor that serves as a waiting area, there were no seats available and so we ended up standing right in front of this couple. So for a good 20 or so minutes, HGS was actually standing right in front of this moron, who either pretended not to see her right at all (honestly if she had swung her arm even without leaning forward she would have struck him squarely on his balding patch...hmmm) or judging by his pot belly, perhaps was more deserving of the seat and was maybe in his second trimester.

Anyway, HGS did eventually get a seat and soon after that another woman joined the queue and the jerk finally got up and offered her the seat. Now I will leave you to make your own conclusions. All I can say is shame on him and moreso his wife/partner/girlfriend/mistress who as a pregnant comrade did not nudge him off his sorry arse. I know for sure HGS would have more than nudged me to get off my backside (not that there is any chance that I would have hogged the seat anyway – mama raised me right).