Friday 18 September 2009


The amazing and remarkable person that she is, Her Gorgeous Self (HGS) aka my darling wife, gave me by far the best ever birthday present. With her usual inimitable grace, perfect timing and style she ‘informed’ me that we were in a family way (have always wanted to use that euphemism). Now, as you can no doubt agree, it is not mere hyperbole on my part in stating that I was mightily chuffed – it was as if Liverpool had won the Premiership and Champions League a dozen times over. It is remarkable, that even though (without going into too much detail) this would be the most deliberately planned for baby, the surprise factor was still there and I felt more elated than I have been about anything.

Fast forward three months to yesterday and here we were in one of the country's big maternity hospitals waiting for the first scan and to cut a long story short and thus spare you a long whinge about 'third world health' service in an allegedly 'first world' country, I will go straight to the good news that our little bundle of joy (gender still unconfirmed) was as healthy as any 16 weeks-from-conception being can be. The good doctor informed us more than once, for good measure, that he could detect a robust heartbeat! Being new to this, I was not sure what clever questions to ask the good doctor, whether it was appropriate for me to ask if that little macadamia nut shaped being was really going to turn into a little human being. However, seeing the little flutters on the monitor was quite awesome. So I'm happy to say, all's well with mother and child and long may that be.

Lastly and certainly deservedly least, I should mention this jackass who did not give up a seat to my PREGNANT wife in a maternity hospital of all places. When we got to the narrow corridor that serves as a waiting area, there were no seats available and so we ended up standing right in front of this couple. So for a good 20 or so minutes, HGS was actually standing right in front of this moron, who either pretended not to see her right at all (honestly if she had swung her arm even without leaning forward she would have struck him squarely on his balding patch...hmmm) or judging by his pot belly, perhaps was more deserving of the seat and was maybe in his second trimester.

Anyway, HGS did eventually get a seat and soon after that another woman joined the queue and the jerk finally got up and offered her the seat. Now I will leave you to make your own conclusions. All I can say is shame on him and moreso his wife/partner/girlfriend/mistress who as a pregnant comrade did not nudge him off his sorry arse. I know for sure HGS would have more than nudged me to get off my backside (not that there is any chance that I would have hogged the seat anyway – mama raised me right).