The Magic Spoon!

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Well, here we are now (so sang Kurt Cobain). At 15 months, E finally decided that the time was right to try out his little tiny feet at a spot of walking – well wading and bouncing around the house with much glee painted on his face.

Whilst we had been told that there is no real set timeframe for when toddlers decide to start walking, we kinda felt young Master Ethan was taking his sweet, sweet time particularly around the time he turned 14 months.

Then one day, he just got up and started toddling around the house, toppling over harmlessly on his little bum and immediately getting up and setting off again.

Now at 17 months, E reckons he has mastered the simple task of putting one foot after the other and propelling himself forthwith! That – when we are out in open space – mainly entails him launching off in the opposite direction of wherever we are meant to be headed. Stubborn little fella that he is, it’s his way or hit high road mum and dad.

Such is his zest for ‘walking’ that we both reckon if we let him, E would just walk from where we live all the way to Cork, some 256 km away. Frankly, with his favourite peeled apple in one hand and a spoon in the other, I bet he could too!

Ah yes, the spoon. E has thing with spoons. Whilst his contemporaries tug a much cherished teddy, squeaky toy, or some such toddler paraphernalia, E loves his plastic spoons. And I am not talking here of these contraptions that they peddle nowadays that look like a Disney or Pixar character with a little obligatory ‘spoony’ bit at the end – basically a toy that pretends it is also a feeding utensil. No, E’s ‘toy’ this is a basic toddler spoon. 

We have tried to foist on him numerous soft, elaborate and noisy toys which now litter the house, but no, the humble spoon is his soother and calms him down when he is agitated, such that early, he would clutch one whenever we took him out in the car.

We have never figured out why he is attached to a spoon.

More of E’s quirks later…

Say what?

A chap who stayed a city hotel overnight was presented with a bill for €250, which he felt was too much. When he asked why, the hotel manager told him it was a standard charge. She added that the hotel had Wi-fi, satellite TV, a pool and a spa. When the chap insisted that he had used none of these services, the manager told him that they were available and he could have. So the man took out €50 from his wallet and told the manager he was deducting €200 for sleeping with him overnight. “I certainly did not,” spluttered the stunned manager. The man replied, “Ah, but I was available and you could have.”

A Bit of Word Play!

I usually dont cut and paste stuff from the web for this blog, but I couldn't resist when I came across this lot. If you were asked to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition, what would you come up with?

Here is a list of what Washington Post readers came up with:

1. Cashtration (n): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops

bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these

really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into

your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


When asked to come up with alternate meanings for common words, The Washington Post readers produced these gems: 

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Happy Birthday Son!

We knew life would never be same again, but we honestly did not fathom how much you would totally overhaul and enrich our lives and add a new purpose to our very existence.

The past 12 months with you in our lives have taken us on an incredible journey. Of course, it is only but the beginning.

You have reminded us that we have this limitless and boundless capacity for love (for you, each other), that patience is indeed a virtue (especially for your ol’ dad here), that positivity can take you a long way. I could go on.

You have invigorated your parents’ relationship in so many ways. Ahem, not that it was ever ailing, of course.

Of course, on your first birthday, we should take stock and acknowledge that there have been challenges in these past 364 days. There were moments of doubt when we were unsure we were doing right by you and whether our boundless love for you would simply be enough.

We may have initially differed in our approach as parents, espcially on how to get you through those critical early days and weeks, but even if we say so ourselves, we are happy with how you are turning out.

So as you start your second year, we want you to know that we love and cherish you more than your cute little self can even imagine and we want you to know that we will always be there for you in every way you can think.

It’s the least we can do, in return to what you are giving us. 

I came across this in cyberspace and thought you might appreciate it (well, when you can read, of course – which I hope is soon. No pressure!)

A year ago, we welcomed Ethan
A baby of our own.
Nervously and sleepily,
We took him to our home.

We figured out the nursing.
This goes how? and where?
We were told there would be crying,
And how to show we care.

A year has gone so quickly,
Yet we have learned so much.
We've felt a love so strongly,
In a baby's gentle touch.

His laughs and smiles. His pouts and tears.
Wow! He can get so mad!
But we wouldn't trade a minute,
As a thankful mom and dad.

Celebrating a Decade of Making a Difference

When my good friend and colleague Salome asked me to write something for AkiDwA’s (Akina Dada wa Africa) tenth anniversary celebrations, I felt honoured but at the same time apprehensive as to how I could do justice to this remarkable organisation with a few words.

It is great testament to Salome and her colleagues that AkiDwA now easily stands as the premier non-governmental organisation in Ireland dealing with issues pertaining to migrant women and certainly one of the leading migrant-led organisations in the country.

I have had the pleasure in recent years of working closely with Salome and her team, particularly when I was on the organisation’s Advisory Board. I was able then, to see firsthand, the passion, dedication, professionalism and expertise that was clearly obvious within the organisation.

Besides that advisory role, I would have interacted quite significantly with Salome, Nobuhle, Alwiye, Kerry and the rest of the AkiDwA team in various capacities working on equality, human rights, immigration, refugee, gender and children’s issues. Because of the proficiency that the organisation has gained over the years, I have been able to call upon their expertise, particularly in the areas of strengthening the voice of migrant women in Ireland, applying a gender perspective to existing policies and practices and the promotion of equality of migrant women in Irish society, free of gender and racial stereotyping.

Lately, it has been a pleasure to work closely with AkiDwA in its campaign for the prohibition of female genital mutilation (FGM) through the enactment of effective legislation in Ireland. It is with great credit to the organisation and its partners that the FGM Bill was published with much cross party support in Dáil Éireann and it is hoped that progress will be made in the 31^st Dáil to push and properly implement this much needed legislation.

It is gratifying to see that 10 years on, AkiDwA is widely regarded as an authoritative and representative body for migrant women, irrespective of their national/ethnic background, tradition, religious beliefs, socio-economic or legal status.

It is particularly praiseworthy that AkiDwA is celebrating 10 years in an environment where the majority of migrant-led organisations have a very limited shelf life due to extreme funding constraints that exist in the sector.

Congratulations are most definitely in order and may the next 10 years be even more eventful and fruitful!

A luta continua!