A Bit of Word Play!

I usually dont cut and paste stuff from the web for this blog, but I couldn't resist when I came across this lot. If you were asked to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition, what would you come up with?

Here is a list of what Washington Post readers came up with:

1. Cashtration (n): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops

bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these

really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into

your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


When asked to come up with alternate meanings for common words, The Washington Post readers produced these gems: 

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Happy Birthday Son!

We knew life would never be same again, but we honestly did not fathom how much you would totally overhaul and enrich our lives and add a new purpose to our very existence.

The past 12 months with you in our lives have taken us on an incredible journey. Of course, it is only but the beginning.

You have reminded us that we have this limitless and boundless capacity for love (for you, each other), that patience is indeed a virtue (especially for your ol’ dad here), that positivity can take you a long way. I could go on.

You have invigorated your parents’ relationship in so many ways. Ahem, not that it was ever ailing, of course.

Of course, on your first birthday, we should take stock and acknowledge that there have been challenges in these past 364 days. There were moments of doubt when we were unsure we were doing right by you and whether our boundless love for you would simply be enough.

We may have initially differed in our approach as parents, espcially on how to get you through those critical early days and weeks, but even if we say so ourselves, we are happy with how you are turning out.

So as you start your second year, we want you to know that we love and cherish you more than your cute little self can even imagine and we want you to know that we will always be there for you in every way you can think.

It’s the least we can do, in return to what you are giving us. 

I came across this in cyberspace and thought you might appreciate it (well, when you can read, of course – which I hope is soon. No pressure!)

A year ago, we welcomed Ethan
A baby of our own.
Nervously and sleepily,
We took him to our home.

We figured out the nursing.
This goes how? and where?
We were told there would be crying,
And how to show we care.

A year has gone so quickly,
Yet we have learned so much.
We've felt a love so strongly,
In a baby's gentle touch.

His laughs and smiles. His pouts and tears.
Wow! He can get so mad!
But we wouldn't trade a minute,
As a thankful mom and dad.

Celebrating a Decade of Making a Difference

When my good friend and colleague Salome asked me to write something for AkiDwA’s (Akina Dada wa Africa) tenth anniversary celebrations, I felt honoured but at the same time apprehensive as to how I could do justice to this remarkable organisation with a few words.

It is great testament to Salome and her colleagues that AkiDwA now easily stands as the premier non-governmental organisation in Ireland dealing with issues pertaining to migrant women and certainly one of the leading migrant-led organisations in the country.

I have had the pleasure in recent years of working closely with Salome and her team, particularly when I was on the organisation’s Advisory Board. I was able then, to see firsthand, the passion, dedication, professionalism and expertise that was clearly obvious within the organisation.

Besides that advisory role, I would have interacted quite significantly with Salome, Nobuhle, Alwiye, Kerry and the rest of the AkiDwA team in various capacities working on equality, human rights, immigration, refugee, gender and children’s issues. Because of the proficiency that the organisation has gained over the years, I have been able to call upon their expertise, particularly in the areas of strengthening the voice of migrant women in Ireland, applying a gender perspective to existing policies and practices and the promotion of equality of migrant women in Irish society, free of gender and racial stereotyping.

Lately, it has been a pleasure to work closely with AkiDwA in its campaign for the prohibition of female genital mutilation (FGM) through the enactment of effective legislation in Ireland. It is with great credit to the organisation and its partners that the FGM Bill was published with much cross party support in Dáil Éireann and it is hoped that progress will be made in the 31^st Dáil to push and properly implement this much needed legislation.

It is gratifying to see that 10 years on, AkiDwA is widely regarded as an authoritative and representative body for migrant women, irrespective of their national/ethnic background, tradition, religious beliefs, socio-economic or legal status.

It is particularly praiseworthy that AkiDwA is celebrating 10 years in an environment where the majority of migrant-led organisations have a very limited shelf life due to extreme funding constraints that exist in the sector.

Congratulations are most definitely in order and may the next 10 years be even more eventful and fruitful!

A luta continua!

An inspiration to us all

This morning I attended the Service of Thanksgiving for the life of Salome Angelina Vijayakumar in our local Methodist Church.

Salome lost her battle with leukaemia on New Year’s Eve at the age of 20, leaving her parents, Elizabeth and Vijay and brother Deepak devastated and our congregation feeling bereft.

After all, this was a beautiful, bubbly, intelligent and personable young woman full of life who only a few months ago, was singing in front of us in the church choir and was heavily involved in most church activities (the photo slideshow played during this morning’s service bears testimony to that) and yet 7 months later here she was, taken away in such heartbreaking fashion.

I may not have shared many moments with Salome apart from being her fellow Methodist congregant, but amidst all the grief and sadness, the excerpts read by Rev John, from the diary she kept in her final weeks, as tear-jerking as it all was, was quite inspiring and left a remarkable imprint to all who were present.

In one of most touching excerpts read from a diary – which was exclusively directed at her parents and brother – Salome assured them that she knew what was coming and was at peace with her impending death.

Having thanked them profusely for being the best parents she could have ever wished for and, Deepak for being a wonderful and amazing brother, Salome’s only deep regrets were the heartbreak her illness had caused them, the grief they would suffer when she was gone and that in some regards she felt that she had not been a worthy daughter (sorry to disagree with you on that one Salome, but I’m certain all who knew you would also disagree).

She was that kind of person.

In fact, such was Salome’s dignity and calmness in her last days, that according to one of our parish pastors who visited her in her last days, the psychiatrist who had been brought in to prepare her for what was coming, was somewhat unprepared for her fortitude and resoluteness even as life was ebbing away from her body.

She is an inspiration to those she has left behind.

Rest in eternal peace, Salome and may your family find great comfort in the life you lived.

A politically correct holiday season greeting!

Got this from an Aussie friend....

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the summer solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all ...

And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2011, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Australia great, (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AUSTRALIA" in the southern hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

- DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTABILITY -

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for him/her or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. 

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher :).